What are the 10 good habits for kids?

Hand Washing and Not Being Disgusting

God, why are kids so gross? Like, genuinely gross. Jared used to “wash” his hands by running them under water for exactly 2 seconds. No soap. Just water. Then he’d wipe them on his pants and call it good.

I tried everything. Timers, songs, threats. Nothing worked until I caved and bought him this ridiculous electric toothbrush with Disney characters on it. Thirty bucks for a toothbrush. But you know what? He actually brushes his teeth now without me having to nag him seventeen times. Sometimes you just gotta accept that Mickey Mouse has more influence than you do.

With Maddie I’m trying to start earlier. Every diaper change I’m like “clean hands! clean face!” like some kind of hygiene cheerleader. She probably thinks I’m insane but whatever.

The basics I’m shooting for:

• Brushing teeth twice a day (morning is still hit or miss when we’re running late for school)
• Actually using soap when washing hands
• Not wiping snot on furniture (ongoing battle)
• Changing underwear daily (shouldn’t have to be said but here we are)

Real talk though – I used to get so frustrated about this stuff. Then I realized I sometimes forget to floss for like three weeks straight, so maybe I should chill out a little.

Food Wars

Oh my GOD the food thing nearly broke me. With Jared there was this period when he was maybe 4 or 5 where he would literally only eat chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and those little Cuties oranges. That was it. For like six months.

I was googling “will my child get scurvy” at 2 AM. I was reading articles about kids who survived on crackers and milk. I was convinced I was failing as a mother because my kid wouldn’t eat a vegetable.

You know what finally worked? Getting him involved in making dinner. Now every Sunday we sit down with those grocery store flyers and plan out the week. He picks one new thing to try – last week it was dragon fruit. He took one bite, made a face like I’d given him poison, but hey. He tried it.

The weird thing is once he started helping cook, he got more interested in eating what we made. I think kids just want some control over their lives and food is one place they can have it.

With Maddie I’m being way more relaxed this time around. I got this baby food maker thing and I just throw whatever we’re having for dinner in there and puree it. She’s trying way more flavors than Jared ever did as a baby.

What works in our house:

• Always having some kind of fruit around for snacks
• Water is the default drink (juice is for special occasions and when grandparents visit)
• One new food per week, no pressure to finish it
• Letting them help cook when there’s time
• Accepting that some dinners are cheese sticks and apple slices and nobody died

Reading (AKA My Biggest Parenting Win)

This was SO HARD with Jared. The kid has always been a mover – building things, taking them apart, running around like a maniac. Sitting still with a book felt like actual torture to him.

I tried bribes. I tried threats. I tried making it “educational” and “fun.” Nothing worked until I finally gave up on all my fancy ideas about what he should be reading and just let him pick whatever he wanted.

Comic books. Graphic novels. Books about butts. Books about farts. Books about butts AND farts. If it had words and he was reading them, I decided it counted.

His second grade teacher was… not thrilled when he did his book report on “Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants” but you know what? He read the entire thing. By himself. And he could tell you everything that happened.

Now we have this thing where we read together before bed. Sometimes I read to him, sometimes he reads to me, sometimes we take turns doing ridiculous voices for the characters. It’s actually become my favorite part of the day.

I broke down and got him a Kindle for kids which has been amazing for car trips and when he wants to read in bed instead of going to sleep (which I totally allow because HELLO he’s choosing books over video games).

Things that worked:

• Same time every day (bedtime ritual for us)
• Letting him pick his own books even if they’re completely ridiculous
• Reading together instead of just making him read alone
• Library trips are adventures not chores
• Audiobooks count too because reading is reading

Moving Around More

Jared has always been high energy so this wasn’t as much of a struggle for us. The kid literally cannot sit still. But I know plenty of kids who would happily park themselves in front of a screen for 12 hours straight if you let them.

We do a lot of outdoor stuff but nothing fancy. Bike rides around the neighborhood. Playground time. Swimming at the community pool when it’s not too crowded. Soccer in the fall because he wanted to try it (jury’s still out on whether he actually likes it or just likes the snacks after games).

His scooter has gotten more use than literally any expensive toy we’ve ever bought him. Three years later it’s beat to hell but still works. He rides it to school, to friends’ houses, just around the block when he’s bored.

With Maddie I’m already trying to encourage movement. Tummy time which she absolutely hates. Getting her to reach for toys. Crawling around chasing the dog. The foundation starts so early and I totally didn’t get that with my first kid.

How we stay active:

• Walking or biking places when it’s reasonable
• Dance parties in the kitchen while making dinner
• Playground time is sacred (and phone-free time for me)
• Trying different activities to see what sticks
• Using boredom as motivation to go outside

The goal isn’t to raise Olympic athletes. Just to help them understand that moving their bodies is normal and feels good.

Sleep (Send Help)

Oh man. Sleep. If you have a kid who sleeps well naturally, please don’t tell other parents. We will resent you.

Jared was the worst sleeper as a little kid. Bedtime was a two-hour battle every night. He’d fight going to bed, then fight staying in his bed, then wake up at 5 AM ready to start his day. I was basically walking dead for his entire preschool years.

What finally saved my sanity was getting super rigid about the bedtime routine. Bath at 7:30. Teeth brushed by 8:00. Story time until 8:20. Lights out at 8:30. Every. Single. Night. Even weekends. Even when we had people over. Even when it was inconvenient.

I used to think parents who were strict about bedtime routines were uptight. Turns out kids actually need that predictability. Now Jared starts getting ready for bed on his own around 8 because his body just knows it’s time.

The Hatch sound machine has been a lifesaver for both kids. White noise, gradually dimming light, it can even wake them up with gentle sounds instead of me barging in there like a crazy person.

Sleep things that help:

• Same bedtime every single night
• No screens in bedrooms (this was a FIGHT but so worth it)
• Quiet activities only after dinner
• Room as dark and cool as possible
• Earlier bedtime than you think they need

Bad sleep ruins everything. Mood, behavior, school performance, appetite. It’s worth the short term battles to get this right.

Not Living in Complete Chaos

I used to clean up after Jared constantly because it was faster than arguing about it. Huge mistake. Now he’s 8 and still just expects the cleaning fairy to magically handle all his messes.

We’re trying to fix this but it’s hard to undo years of me just doing everything. He has this desk organizer thing where his school stuff is supposed to live. Sometimes it actually makes it there. Sometimes I find his homework under his bed. We’re working on it.

I started with really small stuff. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper instead of the floor. Make your bed (doesn’t have to look good, just pull the covers up). Clean up one thing before you start playing with something else.

Organization stuff we’re attempting:

• Everything should have a place it belongs
• Clean up before moving to the next activity
• Pack school bag the night before (this saves so much morning stress)
• Quick tidy up before bed
• Take care of your own stuff because nobody else will

It’s definitely a work in progress. With Maddie I’m going to start way earlier and hopefully be more consistent about it.

Being Nice to People (Revolutionary Concept)

Kids aren’t born knowing how to be kind. It’s a skill they have to learn just like everything else. And honestly sometimes it’s hard for adults too.

With Jared we talk a lot about how other people might be feeling. When he’s mean to someone, instead of just punishing him we talk about how that probably made the other person feel. We practice apologizing and actually meaning it instead of just saying sorry to get out of trouble.

We also look for opportunities to help other people. He carries groceries for our neighbor Mrs. Chen who’s like 80. He holds doors open. He shares his toys when friends come over (most of the time). Little stuff that hopefully adds up.

Basic kindness stuff: