I’m So Done With Rude Parents and I Don’t Care Who Knows It
Jesus Christ on a cracker I am SO over dealing with other parents.
Sorry. My kids are asleep, I’ve had two glasses of wine, and I need to get this out before I explode.
So Jared is 8 and Maddie is still little and oh my GOD the other parents. Like what the hell is wrong with people? I seriously thought when you had kids everyone would be nice and supportive because we’re all struggling together right? WRONG. Dead wrong.
Today was the last straw and I’m typing this in my kitchen at midnight because I can’t sleep I’m so pissed off.
What Happened Today That Made Me Lose My Shit
We’re at the stupid playground. Just trying to have a normal Tuesday. Jared’s playing on the monkey bars, Maddie’s passed out in her stroller because thank God she actually napped for once. I’m sitting on the bench scrolling my phone trying to have five minutes of peace.
This lady comes up to me. Never seen her before. She goes “Excuse me, is that your son?”
I look up. “Yeah?”
“He’s been on those monkey bars for fifteen minutes. My daughter wants a turn.”
I look around. Her daughter is literally playing in the sandbox. Not even LOOKING at the monkey bars.
“Oh, ok. I can ask him to let her have a turn when she’s ready.”
“Well he should already know better. Children need to learn to share.”
Like bitch what? He’s not hoarding playground equipment. Your kid isn’t even interested. But ok fine whatever.
“Jared, come here for a sec.”
He comes running over all happy and sweaty. “What mom?”
The lady goes “You need to share the monkey bars with other children.”
And Jared just looks confused because again, NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO USE THEM.
I was so mad I couldn’t even speak. Just grabbed our stuff and left. In the car Jared’s like “Mom what did I do wrong?” and I wanted to go back and tell that lady exactly where she could stick her parenting advice.
Other Fun Stories Because Apparently This Is My Life Now
The Soccer Game Screamer This dad at Jared’s game yelling at ALL the kids. Not cheering – COACHING. From the sidelines. “TOMMY RUN FASTER” “SARAH WHAT WAS THAT KICK” “DEFENSE WHERE IS YOUR DEFENSE”
When he screamed at Jared I lost it. Walked right up to him.
“Can you maybe not yell at my kid?”
“If you can’t handle competitive sports maybe rec league isn’t for your family.”
I swear to God I almost punched him. Just stood there with my mouth open like an idiot while he kept yelling at seven year olds.
Birthday Party Food Police Some random kid’s birthday party. I brought goldfish crackers for Jared because that’s what he likes and also I forgot until the last minute and grabbed them from the pantry.
This mom opens his snack bag – OPENS IT without asking – and goes “Oh wow processed food. We only feed Emma organic everything. It’s so important for their developing brains.”
Then she starts telling other moms about childhood nutrition while looking straight at me.
I wanted to be like “Lady it’s goldfish crackers not heroin calm the fuck down” but there were kids around so I just sat there feeling like shit.
The Playground Boss Man There’s this guy at our park who thinks he runs the place. Always telling everyone’s kids what to do. “That’s not how we go down the slide.” “We need to take turns on the swings.” “Use your walking feet please.”
When he told Jared he was playing tag wrong I snapped.
“I’ve got this thanks.”
“Well SOMEONE needs to supervise these children properly.”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I’m literally standing right there.
What I Used to Do vs What I Do Now (Sort Of)
Before I would apologize and try to explain myself and make everyone happy. Waste so much energy trying to get rude people to like me.
Now I try to just be like “ok thanks” and walk away. Though honestly sometimes I still get all flustered and say stupid shit I regret later.
Like last week some mom said Jared’s hair was too long and instead of ignoring her I went into this whole thing about how we’re growing it out for Locks of Love even though that wasn’t even true, we just forgot to get it cut.
Why do I do this to myself?
What I’ve Figured Out (The Hard Way)
Your kid sees everything. Jared asked me why I let that soccer dad yell at everyone and I didn’t know what to say. How do you explain that some adults are just assholes?
You can’t win with these people. If your kid is quiet they’re weird. If they’re loud they’re disruptive. If you watch them closely you’re helicoptering. If you give them space you’re neglectful.
Most of the rude ones are dealing with their own shit and taking it out on everyone else. Doesn’t make it ok but at least I know it’s not really about me.
Having normal parent friends helps SO much. When birthday party lady was being crazy about the goldfish another mom came over later and was like “don’t worry about her she does that to everyone.”
Books That Actually Helped Me Not Lose My Mind
Yeah I read self help books now. Judge me I don’t care.
Boundaries by Henry Cloud – This changed my life. You don’t have to be friends with everyone! You can say no! Mind blown.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown – Helped me care less what judgmental parents think. Still working on it.
Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson – Good for dealing with difficult people without making it worse. Though sometimes they make it worse anyway.
Untangled by Lisa Damour – About teenage girls but has good stuff about not taking other people’s emotions personally.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb – Made me realize sometimes I react badly because of my own insecurities. Fun times.
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – Supposed to help you not replay conversations for hours afterward. Still working on this one obviously since I’m up at midnight writing about playground drama.
What I Try to Tell Jared
When he asks why someone was mean I usually say something like “Some adults have big feelings that make them act not very nice but that’s about them not you.”
I want him to know he can stand up for himself but also that he doesn’t have to engage with every crazy person we meet. Still figuring out how to teach that when I’m clearly still learning it myself.
The Normal Parents Who Keep Me Sane
Thank God most parents are actually fine. I’ve met some really great people:
- Baseball team parents (way more chill than soccer)
- Library story time moms
- Random playground conversations
- Neighborhood Facebook group
- School pickup line once you figure out who to avoid
Even just having a couple people who don’t make you feel like shit makes the weird encounters easier to deal with.
How I Try to Handle It Now
I’m definitely not perfect. Like I said, last week I totally got defensive about a haircut comment from some random person.
But mostly I try to:
- Not explain myself to people who don’t matter
- Keep answers short
- Walk away if someone’s being awful
- Remember their opinion of me means nothing
- Focus on whether my kids are happy (they are)
Taking Care of Myself After These Encounters
This stuff really gets to me. After a bad day I usually:
- Text my sister the entire story in way too much detail
- Buy myself something stupid like fancy coffee or a magazine
- Watch trashy TV after kids go to bed
- Remember that most people actually like me
- Write in my journal which sounds dumb but helps
Real Talk
You’re gonna meet difficult parents. It sucks but it’s just part of this whole thing. But you don’t have to let them ruin your day or make you feel like a bad parent.
Do what works for your family. Don’t waste energy on people who are determined to be miserable. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
Your kids need to see you stand up for yourself when it matters but they also need to see you not engaging with every asshole you meet.
Parenting is hard enough without adding drama from random people who don’t even know you.
The Bottom Line
I still get nervous around new parents because you never know who’s gonna be weird. But I’m getting better at handling whatever comes up. And if I can’t handle it perfectly oh well at least I can complain about it later.
Be the parent YOU want to be not what some judgmental stranger thinks you should be. Your kids will be fine. You’ll be fine.
And there’s always wine after bedtime.
Ok please tell me other people deal with this crap too. What’s your worst rude parent story? I need to know I’m not the only one going crazy here.
About me: Just trying to raise my kids without completely losing my mind while navigating the weird world of other parents. When I’m not stopping Jared from annoying his baby sister I write about all the stuff nobody warns you about when you become a parent.
