So yesterday I’m standing in my kitchen at 3 PM still in my pajamas, eating cereal straight from the box while Maddie’s attached to my leg screaming and Jared’s going “Mom mom mom mom MOM” about seventeen times and I just… I can’t. I literally cannot. Anyone else or just me?
Okay listen. I need to tell you something and you’re gonna think I’m crazy but whatever.
Three months ago I was a complete disaster human. Like not even functioning. I’m talking wearing the same bra for four days, forgetting to eat until my hands were shaking, and having full conversations with my coffee maker because it was the only thing that listened to me.
My mom came over last month, took one look at me, and was like “Honey… when did you last shower?” And I had to actually THINK about it. That’s when you know things are bad.
I was basically surviving on goldfish crackers and spite. Jared kept asking why I was always grumpy and I’m like “I’M NOT GRUMPY” while clearly being the grumpiest person alive.
And Maddie? Poor baby was probably wondering why her mom always looked like she’d been hit by a truck.
The Day I Almost Ran Away to Target Forever
Okay so picture this trainwreck. Last Tuesday.
Maddie didn’t sleep AT ALL the night before. Like none. Zero sleep. I’m running on pure adrenaline and whatever was left in my coffee pot from yesterday. Jared comes downstairs and immediately starts whining about how there’s no good cereal and I’m like “EAT THE CHEERIOS OR STARVE” which… mother of the year right here.
Then at school dropoff – still in my pajama pants because why pretend anymore – Jared’s teacher pulls me aside and starts talking about some field trip permission slip I apparently never signed. While she’s talking all I can think is “please don’t smell me please don’t smell me” because I honestly couldn’t remember deodorant.
Get home. Maddie immediately poops through her diaper and somehow gets it on the WALL. The wall, people. How does that even happen?
I’m cleaning poop off the wall while she’s crying and I just… lost it. Started crying while scrubbing. Ugly crying. The kind where your nose gets all snotty and you make weird noises.
That’s when I called my sister and was like “I think I’m broken. Like actually broken. Help.”
The Random Crap That Somehow Fixed My Life
My sister comes over that night with wine and thai food and we’re sitting on my couch and I’m like “I don’t know how to be a person anymore” and she goes “Okay what if you just… did one tiny thing different tomorrow?”
Not like a whole life makeover. Just one stupid little thing.
So I did. And then another thing. And somehow I don’t feel like I’m dying all the time anymore? I don’t get it either but whatever works right?
1. Getting Up Before My Little Chaos Monsters
Do NOT roll your eyes at me. I know everyone says this and it’s annoying but listen.
I’m not talking about some insane 5 AM workout situation. I literally just get up 20 minutes before they do. That’s it.
Sometimes I drink coffee in actual silence. Sometimes I eat a cookie for breakfast because I’m a grown woman. Sometimes I just sit there and mentally prepare for whatever fresh hell the day’s gonna bring.
Those 20 minutes make me feel like a human instead of just a walking snack dispenser.
2. Water Bottles Everywhere Because I’m Apparently a Plant
I’m that mom who gets lightheaded and then realizes I haven’t had water since yesterday morning. So now there’s water everywhere. Car, nightstand, diaper bag, kitchen.
Not fancy water with cucumber slices. Just water. In whatever clean container I can find. Yesterday it was a mason jar because all my real cups were dirty. No shame.
3. Three Things That Don’t Completely Suck Today
While I’m having my quiet coffee time I think of three things that aren’t terrible. Not like deep meaningful stuff, just real things.
Today: Jared didn’t fight me about brushing teeth, Maddie slept past 6 AM, and I found clean underwear in my drawer. Bar’s pretty low but we’re working with what we got.
4. Sunday = Operation Don’t Let Everyone Starve
Sunday afternoon I spend maybe an hour making sure we have actual food. While Maddie naps and Jared has tablet time because screens are magical babysitters and I’m done pretending otherwise.
I wash fruit, cut cheese, throw something in the crockpot. Super basic stuff so when I’m hangry I don’t feed everyone cereal for dinner. Again.
These storage containers actually keep stuff fresh instead of turning into gross science experiments. Worth every penny.
5. Good Food Goes Where I Can Actually See It
Moved all the decent snacks to eye level, kid junk goes on the bottom shelf. Now when I’m stress eating I grab almonds instead of leftover Easter candy from three months ago.
Though sometimes you just need the Easter candy and that’s fine too. We’re not perfect here.
6. Protein or I Turn Into a Rage Monster
Figured out that when I don’t eat protein I become this angry person who yells about everything. Toys on the floor? RAGE. Jared chewing too loud? RAGE. Maddie existing? RAGE.
So now I try to eat some with meals. Greek yogurt, peanut butter, those pre-made hard boiled eggs when I’m feeling fancy. Keeps me from becoming the mom who loses it over spilled juice.
7. Kitchen Rave Parties
When everyone’s melting down around dinner time I just put music on and we dance around like maniacs.
Jared thinks it’s hilarious, Maddie bounces and giggles, and I actually move my body instead of stress eating everyone’s dinner while I make it. Win win win.
8. Angry Power Walking
When I want to scream or run away or both, I strap Maddie in the stroller and walk fast while calling someone to complain. My mom, my sister, whoever will listen to me vent.
Something about moving and talking makes me not want to hide in Target forever. I don’t understand it but it works.
9. Tiny Movements Throughout the Day
Not talking about working out here. Just little stuff. Take stairs when there’s an option, park farther away, do squats while Maddie’s in her high chair making a mess.
My fitness tracker says I’m slightly less of a couch potato. Progress.
10. Actual Bedtime Routine for Adults
Made myself a bedtime routine like the kids have. Phone goes in the kitchen at 9 PM (this almost killed me). Hot shower. Read romance novels until I fall asleep.
Instead of scrolling until 2 AM and then wondering why I feel dead the next day. Brilliant stuff right here.
Got these blue light glasses too. Not sure if they work or if it’s just not staring at my phone all night but whatever.
11. The Magic Breathing Thing
When Jared’s having a total meltdown or Maddie’s crying and I want to join her, I do this: breathe in for 4, hold for 7, breathe out for 8.
Sounds completely stupid. Works every single time. Jared even does it now when he’s upset about something ridiculous like his socks feeling weird.
12. Me Time Gets Put in the Calendar
I literally schedule “mom time” like it’s a doctor appointment. Because if I don’t write it down it gets pushed aside for every single other thing.
Sometimes it’s a bath. Sometimes it’s wandering Target alone. Sometimes it’s sitting in my car eating fast food and listening to true crime podcasts. All valid.
13. Mom Group Text Keeps Me Alive
Have a text thread with three other moms from school. We send pictures of our disasters, celebrate when nobody dies, and remind each other we’re not completely failing at life.
Yesterday someone sent a pic of her kid eating ketchup straight from the packet with “Vegetable accomplished” and we all just sent back the crying laughing emoji. No words needed.
14. Asking for Help Without Wanting to Die
Used to think asking for help meant I was the worst mom ever. Now I ask my husband to handle bedtime so I can shower alone. Ask my mom to watch kids so I can grocery shop without someone having a public meltdown.
People actually want to help. And grocery shopping alone is basically a vacation now. Sad but true.
15. Phone Free Dinner Time
All phones go in a basket during dinner. Even mine which was honestly torture at first. Jared tells us about his day, Maddie throws food everywhere, we actually talk to each other.
Wild concept I know.
16. Apps That Actually Help Instead of Making Me Feel Terrible
Kept apps that help – water reminder because I need to be told to drink water like I’m five, meditation app for breathing stuff, meal planning thing that makes grocery lists.
Deleted everything that made me feel bad about myself. Life’s too short to feel guilty about not doing morning yoga or whatever.
17. One Thing at a Time Because I’m Only Human
Tried to change my entire life at once. Lasted exactly two days. Now I pick ONE thing and do it for a while before adding more stuff.
Apparently I can’t become a completely different person overnight. Shocking revelation.
18. Some Days Are Just Garbage Days
Some days everything goes wrong. Maddie screams for hours, Jared has fifteen meltdowns, I eat goldfish crackers for lunch and call it a balanced meal because there’s probably vitamins in there somewhere.
Those days don’t cancel out the good ones. Tomorrow I get to try again.
19. Tiny Wins Actually Count
Drank water today? Victory dance. Took deep breaths instead of yelling when Jared spilled juice on my laptop? I’m basically Buddha. Fed everyone something that wasn’t snack crackers? Mom of the year.
Little things add up to not feeling like garbage constantly.
What Actually Changed (Spoiler: Not Everything)
I’m still not the mom who has her life together. I still hide in the pantry to eat chocolate. Still forget important stuff. Still lose my patience and feel bad about it.
But I don’t feel like I’m drowning every single day anymore. I laugh more. I actually enjoy my kids instead of just trying to survive until bedtime.
And here’s the weird part – when I started taking care of myself the kids noticed. Jared asks for the healthy snacks now. We have dance parties when everyone’s cranky. He even uses the breathing thing when he’s upset about homework.
Maddie just seems happier when I’m not running on empty and pure caffeine.
What This Actually Looks Like in Real Life
Morning: Get up before the chaos, drink water, coffee time, mentally prepare for whatever disaster awaits.
Day: Try to drink water, eat actual food when possible, move around somehow, breathe instead of screaming.
Evening: No phones during dinner, family time, do something just for me before collapsing.
Not perfect. Not Instagram worthy. But it works for real life with real kids who need real things every thirty seconds.
The Real Truth Nobody Talks About
We’re all just making it up as we go along. Some days we absolutely nail it, some days we barely survive, and both are completely okay.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. Your kids are watching and learning that you matter too. That’s actually pretty amazing when you think about it.
Just Start Somewhere
Don’t try to do all this stuff at once because that’s insane. Pick ONE thing. Maybe drinking water when you wake up. Maybe asking for help one time this week. Maybe taking five deep breaths before you lose it completely.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to start treating yourself like you matter. Because you absolutely do matter, even when you’re wearing yesterday’s shirt and there’s mysterious stains on everything you own.
We’re All Just Winging It Here
What’s your biggest struggle right now? What one tiny thing sounds actually doable? Tell me in the comments because honestly, talking to other moms who are also just trying not to completely lose it is what keeps me sane.
We’re all in this beautiful chaotic mess together. Even when it feels like we’re failing spectacularly at everything.
Also Maddie just woke up from her nap crying so I gotta go but you get the idea right? This is real life. Messy and imperfect and somehow still good.
Some of these links might make me like fifty cents if you buy something. Doesn’t cost you extra, helps me keep writing about this disaster called motherhood while my kids destroy my house.
I’m just a regular mom sharing what worked for me. For actual medical advice talk to real doctors not random bloggers eating cereal from the box at 3 PM.
